The Day After, Shellshock - 23 Days Left

I woke up at 5am and slowly reached for my phone to check the headline. He will be the 45th President of the US. A joke, like Burlesconi but also hate-mongering like Putin and Kim Jong Il. A gross layer cake of disgusting attributes. It made me cry at 5am. Then I watched too much TV today and cried some more. Tim Kaine gave maybe the most heartfelt consolation speech is ever heard. He extended his sympathies to the Clintons like a true friend. I liked it so much. HRC gave a great speech and was inspiring. They all made it sound like she was retiring, reflecting on her accomplishments and everything in the past tense. I feel like it was a funeral for her career. She said "I'm sorry" that it didn't work out. I loved that line. So simple. Straightforward and honest. She was vulnerable but she didn't cry. I don't know how she didn't cry. The room was starting to flood with the tears of her supporters. Just.... sorrow.

I emailed with my work colleagues. Everyone felt defeated. As Amy put it, "It's isolating. Half the country  hates us and they're allowed to openly and  publicly hate us." I feel violated - I feel like the US committed an act of terrorism without my consent and people died. It feels grave and unconsented to. Every time I looked at Lilly today, I thought, she is the generation that will live with the new conservative SCOTUS and government overall. God help us and don't let the Hate come true. The Hate is the scariest part. How will they control the hateful people?

There is already racist graffiti reported in South Philly amusing his name. In his name people will do so much more. Even if he becomes more neutral and tempered as president, he has already given so many the  permission they have been waiting for to be hostile, close minded, and harbor hate and judgment. They won't need him by their side to hurt or bully  others and assault decency. It'll be too late.